


Yellow Paint

by trulymadlymj



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-09 07:20:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4339157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trulymadlymj/pseuds/trulymadlymj
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Nishinoya remembers and regrets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yellow Paint

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. So. I know this was originally going to be a series of oneshots, but I've found that I prefer to read oneshots on their own unless they are in the same universe, so I'm just gonna have this one stop here. I have other Haikyuu!! fics, though, so if you want to check those out, that would be awesome :)

Noya parked his car and looked up at the building in front of him. It was a bit more run-down than it was the last time he had seen it, about four years ago now. The paint on the front step had chipped a little more, but it was still recognizable. Of course, there was no way that Noya would be able to _not_ recognize it. The house held too many memories for him.

He briefly debated on backing out and driving away before his nostalgia got the better of him and he opened the car door. The windows still had the same white lace curtains from when he was in high school, and though it was a little faded, the house was still a pale shade of yellow that would forever remind him of summer breeze, comfort, and absolute happiness. Funny how that could make him sad now. Stepping out of the car, he felt the sunshine hit his face. He smiled slightly, drinking in the familiar surroundings, surrounded by memories. He could almost pretend that no time had passed since he had been here, that he was 16 again and laying on the roof and trying to make shapes out of clouds to make his friend laugh. Back then, he was never alone.

But today he was. Passing the "for sale" sign that had gone up again a few weeks ago, he made his way to the backyard, heart sinking when he caught sight of the lone tree near the back of the property. He had practically lived in that tree while he was here and had a plethora of warm memories in it, but the last time he was here stood out in his mind, dark and heavy and _there_. He closed his eyes for a moment.

*           *          *

 

"Noya." The 16-year-old looked down from his place in the branches to the source of the voice, grinning widely. The way the sunlight filtered through the leaves and dappled onto Asahi's face and hair looked beautiful, and Noya wondered for what must have been the millionth time since they met how someone that wonderful existed. "Can you come down for a second? We need to... I have something to tell you."

That wiped the grin off Noya's face. He had been working since his first day of first year to get the taller boy as comfortable as possible in his presence, and his work had paid off in countless carefree smiles and soft laughter. But, as Noya saw as he landed on the grass, Asahi's current smile was anything but carefree. It was stiff and forced and tiny, like he had to fight to keep it there. He looked up at his friend expectantly.

"Um." Finally meeting Noya's eyes, Asahi sighed. "So. I graduated."

Noya laughed nervously, heart starting to race, mind flying to endless possibilities. He was going to a university in Tokyo, or he had gotten a job on the other side of the country. He didn't want to spend time with high school students anymore. He didn't want Noya with him.

"Congratulations. That's what happens when you finish high school." Asahi chuckled a little at that, quiet and breathy, the laugh that made Noya long to be closer to him in order to hear it better. Noya usually wanted to be closer to him, but that little laugh made it even stronger.

"Not helping, Noya." The taller boy sighed and looked up at the tree branches instead of his friend. "So. Um. You know that I want to go to a good university."

He had been right, Asahi was leaving for school, he was going to Tokyo or to the southern tip of the country or to one of the different islands and Noya would be stuck here without him.

"And you know that I've always had good grades in English."

Wait.

"And, well, I applied to a few American universities as well as the Japanese ones. And I made it in."

Noya had sat down a while ago, and was staring at the house of his best friend. Being honest, he meant far more than that to Noya, but he had never said that. And now he might not get the chance to. He wasn't just talking about across the country. The silence between them grew heavy and Asahi sat next to him, trying to alleviate a bit of the tension. The next time he spoke, it was much quieter.

"It's in New York, and they say it's a pretty good art school. I only have about a week before my plane leaves. I'm going to be living in a dorm there, I've sent a few emails to my roommate already. He seems pretty cool."

New York. And he had been worrying about Tokyo.

"Noya?"

Asahi had never even been out of the country before, how was he going to handle being alone in New York? The boy got a little panicky if he thought the bus made a funny noise on the way to meets and Noya was the only one who had been able to calm him. He would be on his own in a giant flying bus. What was he thinking?

"Nishinoya, please say something."

And what about Noya? Was he supposed to go on like normal? Asahi was the only person that Noya really felt like himself around. He didn't have to keep up a smile around Asahi if he didn't feel like he could. Asahi was soft and gentle and let Noya be who he wanted to be without judging him. He was the only one who had ever seen Noya cry, the person who Noya trusted the most. How could he just leave like this?

"...Yuu?"

He sounded so fragile. The word had come out a shaking whisper, and Noya could tell that there were tears in the other boy's eyes. The yellow sides of the house that he was staring at seemed to be mocking him. It was such a happy color, brilliant and soft at the same time, just like the boy who lived there. That color meant comfort to him. It meant happiness. It meant sitting in the sunshine and laughing and talking about things that actually mattered to him. It meant Asahi.

It meant love.

"Thank you for telling me. I'm very excited for you and wish you the best of luck in New York." He stood up quickly, careful not to look at Asahi. He couldn't. All he needed right now was to crawl into bed and not leave for a long, long time. "Please excuse me, I need to be back home soon."

He ignored Asahi calling out as he mounted his bike. His ears had started ringing somewhere between the tree and where the bike was standing, so that made it a little easier. He didn't want to hear. He knew that Asahi would be crying, because he was, too. And he felt bad about leaving, but in his mind, staying here was unthinkable. Why didn't he tell him sooner? Why not a university in Japan? Why couldn't he just stay here with Noya forever? Asahi had just broken his heart. And so he left. And he didn't go back. And when Asahi texted him, he couldn't bring himself to read them. For the first time since he met Asahi, Nishinoya felt truly alone.

*          *          *

When he opened his eyes again, he found that his feet had taken him to the tree. It had grown in four years, and so had he. For the past month or so, all Noya could think about was how stupid and selfish and childish he had been. If he had a chance to go back in time, redo that day under the tree, he never would have left. He had imagined it countless times; he would start by taking Asahi's hand and telling him that no matter what happened, they would not drift apart. They would figure out a way to stay in contact through the geographical and time differences. He would let Asahi know that he meant too much to Noya to let go. Asahi would not leave the country without knowing how Noya felt.

But the past cannot be changed. Noya's fingers traced the patterns of the bark, wondering how Asahi was doing now. He had heard from Suga that Asahi was back in Japan and staying with he and Daichi, since his parents had moved out of the house a few weeks ago and their new place wasn't big enough for three. When he had talked with Suga, he got the impression that Asahi had enjoyed New York. His paintings had improved, though Noya had always thought that they were perfect. His English had also improved. He seemed happier, a little more carefree. Noya really wanted to see that for himself. Suga had invited Noya to come over for dinner whenever, to catch up with old friends, but Noya had declined. He hadn't wanted to bring up bad memories for Asahi, but standing there in the middle of his old best friend's old back yard, he wasn't sure if he could resist. He had told himself that he wasn't as selfish anymore, and yet...

His phone was already in his hand, Suga's number dialed and thumb hovering over the 'call' button, before he realised that he had decided. As he waited for Suga to pick up, he started walking back to his car. He didn't know how he would do it, but he had to at least try to make Asahi understand how sorry he was. How much he still missed him. After talking briefly with Suga to ask if this evening was good, Noya got back into the car. He knew that this was probably a mistake, but the house in front of him reminded him that he had made far worse ones. Even after he had driven away, he could still see that yellow paint in his mind's eye. After four years, that color still meant love to him.

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry if there are grammar or spelling mistakes in this, I have no beta right now :( If you have any notes or constructive criticisms, I am more than happy to listen! If you have a great idea but don't want to write it yourself or would like to request anything, I accept prompts and will write for just about any pairing (please talk to me i thrive on your attention)


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